Last night was a bit of a treat: poor Sage was sick, so Mason got to come home early. Instead of sitting in my parents’ in my work clothes, I got to be home and have dinner with my sweeties. It wasn’t a terribly productive night (I still work late on Tuesdays and I had a parent conference after that, plus Maggie decided to be on my lap all evening, pinning me to the couch) but I enjoyed the respite for all that.
I really struggle with Tuesday nights. On one hand, working late two nights a week is pretty much the easiest way I can think of to make extra money that we badly need. On the other hand, it exacerbates the loneliness of Tuesday nights, when Blake goes to visit his dad and Mason goes to visit Sage. My dad is trying to help by bringing me over for dinner every week, but I’m left feeling useless as I sit around, uncomfortable in my work clothes and anxious about the housework I could be doing while I’m watching Maggie play with her Potatohead.
I really don’t know what the answer is, other than dinosaurs attacking our exes and freeing our schedules permanently. Don’t know how it would solve the money problems, though.
(When I proposed this idea to Mason, I followed it up with, “that would be ironic,” and giggling. As the two of us are English teachers, we find mis-identification of irony amusing. But then I realized that it might actually be ironic, as what could be less expected than a dinosaur attack?)
The good news is that many of my money troubles will be eased tomorrow, when I can stop racking up credit card debt. (I’m looking at you, new bathroom.) The bad news is that I didn’t win the lottery, so the austerity and extra hours will continue. I’m thinking of teaching summer school this year, a proposition that makes me want to scream and hide; I can’t imagine any place I like less than school in the summer. And yet, it beats a life of self-denial and worry, so it’s on the table. Also under consideration: free exercise programs, since I’ve already paid for a yearly gym membership; teaching a running course for the motivation and free-ness of same; reading free books from the library and NOT running up huge fines; using birthday money for the kids to buy clothes for them; and drastically cutting back on Blake’s birthday presents by including the party in my calculations for the first time.
I miss impulsive, spendy me. She was a lot more fun.