Posted by: rocketbride | May 29, 2012

don’t run in a dress

I tried to get a little lunch on after Baby Time today, but we were foiled by high winds and spitting rains. Eh. It’s not like Maggie doesn’t need to go home and sleep anyway: she just got her second tooth in a week and she’s decided that napping and teeth are mutually exclusive. She just went back to sleeping at night, though, a blessing which remains as unexpected as it is undeserved. But even though she’s a cranky hot sweaty baby these days, she makes up for it with excessive cuteness. Kat gave me a ton of summer clothes from Stella’s younger days, and every day is a dive in the box for something pretty and fun. Bare feet are just as much fun as I thought they’d be.

I started taking depression medication on Sunday, my third ride on the Happy Pill Express in ten years. Gah. I hate writing it out there in black and white, but it is what it is. And I have to say (knowing all the while it’s impossible) that I started feeling different on the first day. Maybe my body recognized the chemicals from last time or something. All I know is that the first morning I was swamped by waves of dizziness that felt like an incipient migraine, and even though I didn’t feel up to walking, I took Sage to church. The logic was that if I were surrounded by people who knew me, someone would take care of the baby if I passed out. Needless to say, it got better. I’m still feeling sleepy and dizzy, but I’ve also had two nights of insomnia in a row, so it’s hard to know what’s causing what.

That afternoon we took Blake to Toronto City Hall for the Doors Open event, something I should have realized would be problematic as he was 1. home from overnight Cub camp, poorly-rested and overly-funned, 2. off his meds because of previous, 3. under pressure to learn something so he could fulfill the last requirement of his blue star badge, 4. mad at the universe and himself for being too distracted to earn a badge at camp and 5. Blake. He lost his remaining video game privileges within five minutes of entering City Hall, and I spent the rest of the afternoon chivvying him along and ignoring his insulting sass-talk while trying to make him complete a scavenger hunt. Here’s the thing, though: I was pretty ok with it. I’m not sure if it’s the drugs or just that I knew exactly what I was biting off before I opened my mouth, but all the crap he said pretty much rolled off my back after the first five minutes. By the end of the night, when he was still asking for his video games, Mason and I were able to share a hearty burst of genuine laughter at his audacity. It was…fun. Really.

The other good thing about this week was my running class. On Saturday I signed up for a running class that started last night, with the idea that I could learn to do something cheap and easy, something I could do with Blake along rather than watched elsewhere. The “cheap” idea went out the door with my running sneakers, which are gorgeous and the most comfortable things ever, but cost as much as Fluevogs without the retro style. At least the “easy” thing seems to be working out for now, as I was thrilled to complete our first run/walk without passing out, throwing up or spontaneously exploding my knees somehow. We’ll see how easy it feels after a couple more runs, when I’m not hopping up on the nervousness of the first attempt.

The other best part of this whole thing is that Blake is being hilarious. He doesn’t think I need a class; I should just let him teach me to run. “The first thing you need to know is: don’t run in a dress. Wear shorts. Just relax. Let me show you.” The man won a second place ribbon in his class’ cross-country event last week, so I feel like he knows what he’s talking about.


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