Posted by: rocketbride | July 16, 2012

running & me

Today I broke a long absence from Ikea by wildly overspending. Eek. I really only went for a few bookshelves, but I also came home with cups, boxes, a cork board, plastic bowls, wooden hangers, a rug, a summer-weight duvet, cover & pillowcase for someone who’s outgrown Buzz Lightyear and likes a duvet all year round, etc. The trip took two hours and allowed Maggie & Mason to test-drive what their life will be like when I go back to work in the fall. (The forecast isn’t good.)

In the course of our travels, my mom asked me if I were enjoying running. I realized that there wasn’t a simple answer. I get a lot of satisfaction out of it, and I’ve never skimped on my three weekly practices. I love the feeling I get after, and I love telling people about it. I even love how stupidly hard those suicide trailing exercises are. But I’m always a bit anxious that I’m about to tap out as we move to longer blocks. I worry that my legs really will collapse, as they sometimes threaten at the beginning. It’s hard work, and it gets harder every week instead of easier. It’s a fraught relationship, nowhere near as easy to describe as my relationship to ATS. But I’m hanging in there. Still running.

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