Posted by: rocketbride | July 21, 2012

sweet dreams

Sleep is absolutely the most precious commodity to me right now. Don’t get me wrong: I get enough sleep. Maggie is a beautiful sleeper and I can usually count on nearly ten uninterrupted hours for myself, which is perfect because I still sleep a lot. (I used to think I’d grow out of it, but that hasn’t happened yet.) Blake is still an early riser, so whenever he’s in the house I get up with him; maybe 6:30 or 7, and then we get the baby if she’s not already nursing in bed with me. But on mornings when he’s at his dad’s, and I’m not obliged to get him cereal and chase him away from the video games, I have the option of filling the baby with milk and handing Her Friskiness to her dad for the morning. Those are the best mornings. Only slightly interrupted by an early lying-down nurse, I can drift off with no guilt. I feel plenty guilty when I wake up, of course – can’t seem to escape it – but at least I get the deep sleep, rolling around the big bed by myself.

At 6:30 this morning I woke up alone. Mason’s had trouble sleeping this week so he was tossing and turning on some other bed. Maggie was still sawing toothpicks. Sage was quiet. There was absolutely nothing keeping me from my dreams, but my internal alarm had gone off and was not to be denied. So I got up and started making breakfast for myself. If I can’t be sleepy, at least I can be useful. And there was a lot to get ready this morning: we’re going to visit in-laws and the movement of two adults and two kids takes more planning than a military campaign, especially if it involves picking up and transporting large quantities of frozen meat (it’s the week we get our share for the month).

We ended up at the market, packing up veg for Bob’s stall almost as fast as he could sell it. Leaving him was hard; last fall trained me to expect at least four hours at the stall, maybe more, but eventually we were on our way to the Kawarthas. So far it’s been a dream: hot and beautiful. If only we could get Maggie a nice nap, life would be perfect.

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