Posted by: rocketbride | July 26, 2012

toilet jokes with total strangers

We were supposed to go to Centre Island today, but I’m glad the weather was rainy & we called it off. I do love my Centre Island, but I need time to recover from Montreal and today was barely enough. As it was, we spent all morning shopping for a toilet, which takes up more time than you would think. My dad was pressuring us to buy a toilet today so that he could install it on Saturday, when we’re at Hillside. There’s a Rona nearby that’s closing, so we took a look there first. Their toilet section was completely empty, so we turned to go. As we walked toward our car, I joked to a stranger coming my way that “if you’re there for a toilet, we’re both out of luck.” She looked at me funny, which I expected as I was making a toilet joke to a total stranger.

“How did you know?”


We started to laugh as she confessed that she had also come in for a toilet. Then she told me the best news: if an item wasn’t in stock, I could get a discount coupon for another location. So I went back inside, pretended to check out the toilet situation (still none, oddly enough) and then asked for my coupon. As I left for the second time, I tried out my joke again on a family emerging from a car.

“How did you know?”

“What? Is everyone toilet shopping today?”

This didn’t play too well with my dad, who just wanted to go to Home Depot and a secure supply of toilets. But I had my coupon, so off we went to the nearest functioning Rona, where I fell in love, if you can characterize it that way, with a duo-flush eco-toilet. It was about twice the price of the cheapest toilet, but I don’t plan to replace my toilets so frequently that I’ll need the lowest price. Unfortunately, they were out of stock, so my dad decided to take Blake to yet a third location while Mason, Maggie & myself peeled off for lunch. They were back an hour later, and ever since then I’ve had the delightful sight of a toilet box to greet me whenever I walk down the stairs in the morning. Maybe once we get the old toilet out, we can do something classy and plant flowers in it.

My legs still haven’t recovered from walking all about on Tuesday, and my stomach is complaining about all the rushed road snacks and the lack of water that accompanied our ride home. Couldn’t sleep last night because of these. I’m hoping to recover soon because Hillside demands total leg and stomach commitment. We will not tolerate slacking.

Tonight we took Sage to a soccer class. It was ridiculously adorable to see all these little meatballs running around the field after their own personal ball. I’m starting to wonder if Blake needs a similar skills program instead of being thrown willy-nilly into the competitive boredom of a real baseball game.

And the fact that I’m trying to make Blake a better baseball player makes me wonder how long I can maintain this baseball-hating stance. It’s crumbling as we speak.


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