Posted by: rocketbride | January 19, 2016

the democracy of ants

There’s a documentary we show sometimes called I Am; if you haven’t seen it, it’s about a rich director who has a life-changing injury and spends his recovery travelling and asking interesting minds what’s wrong with the world and what can we do about it. There are many, many ideas – as you would expect when you ask a diverse group – but one of the greatest take aways for me was the idea that cooperation is in our DNA alongside competition. And that researchers have been able to measure electromagnetic energies that change when we are around others.

One of my biggest struggles when I’m low is not getting through the moments: it’s my tendency to isolate myself. I’m an introvert who is constantly surrounded by people, so a little alone times isn’t a bad thing, but I quickly get beyond the point when its helpful and into a place where I’m depriving myself of the interactions that can pull me up. This last push of marking before the end of the semester has had me in a constant state of low-grade anxiety since the year turned, and I am coping with it in beautifully unhealthy ways: isolating myself at work whenever I can, skipping group running, searching out stuff to feed my latest media fixation. I’m not marking and I’m not feeling refreshed.

This isn’t a big insight here. I’m just processing.

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